Love is Timeless
The first component of the Factor of Five is LOVE. It is without question life’s greatest experience. It is the emotion which serves as a safety valve and helps relieve tension associated with self-discipline; in addition, it helps insure balance, poise and constructive effort. It also brings a person into communion with infinite intelligence and is the umbrella that shields and supports everything we do.
Love is the most special element of any factor, mainly because there are two levels of intimacy. The primary level is the engine that drives all that we do and all that we are. That’s the one that is eternal, the one that is the essence of God. How we feel about it has no relevance to parenting because it simply hovers over and integrates into all that we do: it will never change. Let us not attempt to interfere with, or tie the primary level with the level of parenting involvement. From the standpoint of any relevance, there is a level of love that relates to feelings. That’s the one that causes us to transfer our thoughts into physical expression.
Writers of books, songs, poems and the like have attempted to define love or tell what it is all about. What I am going to do is ask you to identify, in your mind, exactly what Love is in the powerful context of parenting. Love is simply an image of the highest joy, where happiness reigns supreme. In other words, when a person says he loves someone or something, what really is happening is that the other person or thing causes him to feel that he is worthy of the positive way in which he projects himself (in a garden of happiness). In still other words, that other person or thing reflects the inner image of his well-being and happiness.
To place that definition in context, a person might ask the question, “What does she mean when she says, ‘I love him?’” Could it mean when she communicates with me she causes me to feel like she sees me the way I want others to see me – the way I believe I really am?
Here is another question: “I love my pet.” Could it mean because my pet is excited to see me whenever I approach her, she causes me to feel important and wanted?
How about: “I love my car/money.” Could it be I treasure those things because when I have them, it causes other people to think I am a meaningful person and it makes me feel important and as worthy as I believe I am?
Not to beat a dead horse, but how about: “I love to play basketball/racquetball/golf (any game/pastime).” Could it be that these things make me feel better physically? And when I compete, and win, I feel important; especially when I am part of a team (mainly because man is a gregarious animal: we crave sharing ourselves with others who are like us).
Each of the scenarios above has one thing in common: feelings. But more than that, they signify feelings of importance, feelings that one’s life is meaningful. That emotion is powerful because people are influenced, not so much by what happens to them as to how they feel about what happens. In the book “Think And Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill, he gives us numerous reasons to embrace the idea that creativity of the mind is set into action entirely by how we feel (emotion), not by how we reason (think).
The following comments are presented to support the idea that everything in existence begins with thought. On the other hand, in our physical world, nothing happens until we take action. With that in mind, we begin this work by developing a powerful mindset: that’s part one. Part two is designed to convert our healthy thoughts into positive strength-laden action. That is the reason this website is so powerful.
In the beginning your Little One will be ruled almost entirely by emotion. As he grows, the scales will begin to tilt toward allowing reason to assume its proper place in his life-cycle. Your role is to assist in making the transition a smooth and worthy action.
An interesting and relevant question about love is, “How is it that a person can think in terms of falling in and out of love: are people merely fickle? Or is it simply that individuals are confused about the
intimate nature of love?” I think it is the latter, so let’s define it so that it can fit any situation equally well: LOVE is simply an image of personal worth.
When she says she loves a person, she means that that person consistently elicits in her a feeling that she is worthy of the positive
way in which she sees herself. To say it another way: to love a person or thing is to appreciate, admire and hold dearest, that which the person or thing repeatedly does to one’s positive emotions.
Love is not a desire, it is not a lusting or coupling of two bodies, it is simply the word we use to denote the highest in appreciation that causes us to feel the ultimate in personal gratification. The problem is that people have needs, and their needs constantly change. As the needs change, so do the things they hold dear. Yet the things they hold dear at one stage in life have a tendency to change as well. Hence, the person says he has fallen in/out of love.
One final thing: we talked about discipline because it is an important component of love with consistency. At first, to impose discipline on your Little One requires style, finesse, and adherence to nature’s signals. An example might be that our creator has provided us with one mouth, two eyes, and two ears; which might indicate that we should speak about what we see and hear, about half as much as what we actually see and/or hear. With that in mind, it might bode us well that when we feel the need to tell our Little One to stop talking, to say: “I love to hear you talk, sweetheart (positive reinforcement), but there is a time and place that is appropriate. Now is not it (discipline)” (or however you would express that idea in a positive manner).
One Final thing (Hey! I said that before, well this time it really is final), it is regarding reinforcing the midset of the parent: discipline is the foundation without which we leave ourselves open to any crosswind of weakness and desire. The secret of successfully molding discipline into your Little One is to clothe it in a jacket of love, when he knows it’s there, he will do whatever it takes to please you (including developing self-discipline).
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