Sex is Healing (Archive: Wednesday)
(Archive# 1 of 1)
Sex is healing. Regardless of age or gender, when we talk about sex we’ve got to be very careful. I don’t want to get us into trouble here, I just want to highlight that within the covers of this site I used two different phrases referring to the concerns of child development. Specifically, I talk about the “critical three” and the “factor of five.” The critical three involves Love, Sex, Money. Your little “Bundle of Joy” has no idea what those critical three elements are all about, so why should we care. Good question! Let me come back to that one, but first let me identify the other phrase: The Factor of Five. I used both because they are both important, but in different ways . The critical three are the elements that we must concentrate on and plan our critical positive attack, the other two wrap up the factor of five in that those two are the Roadbumps that are lurking to interfere with our progress. Those last two can slow or even stop the progress of our little “Bundle of Joy. ”With that in mind, we want to highlight the entire spectrum and relate to it … put it in perspective.
Of the “Critical Three,” The matter of SEX is the most volatile.
Sex is healing, not because it’s pleasurable (there is no doubt about that), but because the Creator made it that way so we would seek to participate in the process, that way we would be more inclined to procreate thereby maintaining and increasing our kind (the human race). The optimum association is that we would do it under the umbrella of LOVE. It so happens we humans seek to place our own little spin on quite a number of things in our lives: sex is no exception. No problem, it’s just that we have identified love as an emotion, sex is also an emotion both tend to interfere with purity of heart and mind.
Before we get too wrapped up in this sex thing, let’s keep in mind we are talking about our little “Bundle of Joy.” Oh yea! You almost forgot that didn’t you? (you probably don’t remember a comedian named Flip Wilson, he was a riot, had his own TV show back in the mid 1970’s. His favorite line was “The devil made me do it.” Well, I don’t want to point fingers, but… Anyhow, when we think of sex other than… never mind, let’s get on with molding your Little One.
Your Little One has no idea of the meaning of love, sex, money or any other thing we take for granted, he’s just trying to establish his identity. He doesn’t know if he is male, female, dog, cat, sock, shoe; he’s just a sponge, soaking up the reality of life. He is looking to you to guide him in the paths of self-awareness. You have a choice: you can either walk away from your parental obligation and allow someone else do it, or you can decide to be a parent. Assuming you accessed this site of your own free will… That’s awful, forgive me, I’m sorry I wasted your time saying that… Let’s move on.
The number one thing your Little One should know is his/her gender: that’s why we clothe our little boys in blue apparel and girls in pink. That color rampage is not for the infant, he doesn’t know his head from his toe, his rear from his front, he simply wants to get started with his new life. The reality is, he is totally dependent on you (or someone like you) who can “show him the ropes.”
You might say, “So what’s the big deal?” The big deal is that you can step up to the plate and be the hero your Little One sees, or you can lower your head and allow someone else to replace you in his hall of fame. It means if you decide to take up the gauntlet and be that hero, you must seek to be as good a you as you can be. In other words, it’s not just about your Little One, it’s about your total family package, it’s about building a tradition of excellence of whom your ancestors and progeny will be proud with whom to be identified.
“That makes a lot of sense,” you say, but “What does sex have to do with it?” Good question, and here is the answer: determining one’s sex is the first step in self-identity. It’s quick and easy. The most important thing is that nature provides a tremendous supporting role, all we need do is cooperate with it.
Just as an aside: there was a piece in my local newspaper a few years ago that seems to nail it in place. It was about a racial matter that really shouldn’t have been a matter at all, at any rate I’ll quote it here. The writer said, “I’m an American. My skin is darker than many other Americans; in fact, some people call me black (my preference), some call me African-American, others call me Negro or colored, still others have other names for me (some nice and some not so nice). However, the names people use to identify me in their minds have nothing at all to do with who I am.” He went on to talk about the issue at hand at that time.
True, it had nothing at all to do with your Little One except that it illustrates the idea that others can identify your Little One in their minds, but that’s not important: what’s important is how your Little One identifies himself. Male or female is not a question, it’s just that identifying one’s gender is simply the first step on the path to self-identification.
Now that we have completed our brief entry into sex relating to your Little One, let’s unravel the details of the “Silent Spoiler” – FEAR!